Tuesday, August 10, 2010


I can call Boy Two this because my grandmother used to use this term to describe me.  I'm sure that she's forgotten the incidents, but I clearly remember when the words passed her lips.

But back to Boy Two.

The older he gets, the more trouble he likes to cause.  Some of it is fairly innocent: not being careful or considerate of other people's property, etc.  The rest of it is carefully selected to inflict maximum harm.

Girl received some really girly gifts for her birthday and she and Boy Two happily played with them together....for about six hours.  Then he announces "Mom, I lost Chip!"  No guilt in his face at all; maybe a hint of satisfaction, though.  Great.  I scoured the house after they went to bed and turned up nothing.  Hmpf.

Next morning he shows me a little princess doll dress the he's 'accidentally' torn the sleeve from.  Uh-huh.  Mere moments later he brings me a little plastic mouse that also goes with this set (what does he have against Disney princesses?!) that has been completely severed at the waist.  Okay, time to intervene with some serious consequences.

I send him to his room until I can figure out what his Achilles heel is in order to get the point across.  Aha!

He thinks I'm just coming into his room to give him the 'I'm so disappointed in you, you need to be nicer' speech, so he starts to tune me out when he hears the words "...so its only fair that you lose two of your favorite toys.  I'm going to throw away two of your dinosaurs."  Zing!  Was that actual fear behind his eyes?  I let him pick out the two he was willing to sacrifice and we threw them in the outside garbage can so he knew I was serious.  I think I saw him blink back tears.  I'll have to remember this tactic.

The 'carefully selected' part has to do with the fact that he is really smart.  And he knows how to use it.  My kids love to listen to those Sixty Years of Classic Disney CDs that came out when I was in high school, and they know what movie each song is from and can anticipate them.  A few days ago while listening to a Lady and the Tramp song, Boy Two says "This song is from Peter Pan!"  Boy One attempts to correct him, but Boy Two gleefully maintains his stance, allowing Boy One to grow very upset because he knows that this song is from Lady and the Tramp!  With so much success, Boy Two tries again with the next song, saying that is something that it isn't.  Any other brother would just ignore him or deck him, but Boy One is so distressed and begins to cry.  Drat, I have to intervene. 

So I said the only thing I could think of at the time, "Oh, poor, crazy Boy Two!  He doesn't know what song this is!  Isn't that so sad?"  After a few turns of this Boy One catches on and starts to see the humor in the situation.  Pretty soon Boy One starts to mix up the songs on his own and Boy Two loses the fun in it.  But by now he's created a monster because we all know that Boy One never lets anything go and now the game will never stop.

Ah, siblings!


  1. Grandma may have called you a pest, but if you'll recall, one of Mom's favorite sayings was "I hope you end up with kids just like you."

    Yep. You, my friend, are suffering from the Curse of the Irritated Mother. The only thing you can do now is pass it along.